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i am a barrio girl…bow!

ORIGINALLY POSTED AT: http://daragang-magayon.com/2008/04/28/i-am-a-barrio-girl-bow/

I am writing this because I want to help Reyna Elena’s campaign and also because I want to share what I know about Pinays in the barrio who are married (or even just involved) to somebody from a foreign country.

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First of all, it pains me to hear of a story that a Filipina is being accused of a scam. It pains me to know that a foreigner feels like he is being scammed by his Filipina lady love and her family.

I grew up in this small barrio and after 18 years of being away, I went back home to stay (for how long, I don’t know!).

The whole time I was going back and forth, there were distant relatives and some close cousins (younger or older than me) who eventually went off to marry their boyfriends from a foreign land. How they met isn’t through dating sites and definitely not through any online means. Some used to work in pinoy pasalubong stores, restaurants or was introduced via a common friend.

In all these cases I am talking about, it is already a given that the girl and her family is poor and that one reason in agreeing to marry a foreigner is to have a new life (hopefully a better life) and maybe later in time, help her family financially (i.e. sending siblings to college, providing decent care for the old parents). Those are already a fact that the foreign boyfriend is made aware of from the very start, if he doesn’t know already!

Besides, it is innate to us here to take the opportunity that comes along. Be it an opportunity to go to college or marry a foreigner. I see no bad in the latter, because the intention is always good…to see the world and make your life just a little bit different.

BUT, I know for sure that these girls DID NOT EVER think or did anything like the alleged Tierra Maria UK Scam Hoax that has been the talk of the Pinoy blogosphere for weeks now.

The point is, the girls (women) from here really falls in love, truly, after spending some time with the guy. The foreigner of course will not be able to resist the charm of this young, simple and not-materialistic Filipina from the barrio. She must be a breath of fresh air as opposed to the women in his country that he has been used to, right?

Of course the foreigner will eventually help — in cash or in kind — the girl’s family (before and after marriage) living in barrio.

WHY?

Because such guys are just plainly amazed by the strong family ties we have in the Philippines and that because people in the barrio aren’t hard to please at all. In fact, just sooo hospitable and just too happy too embrace the foreign guy immediately, like their own. Not because the guy is being looked at as a cash cow (or mother goose, whatever you call it!), but simply because they are just amazed that here’s this foreign guy in their midst and they cannot wait to show him around and show him little things about life in the barrio — like papano umakyat ng puno ng niyog at kung paano magluto ng laing, for example.

The money isn’t an issue at all. Ang rason ng foreigner ay: it’s the least they can do and why not, if they are in the position to help.

Of course there are families here that abused the foreigner’s generosity, in one way or another. But it is actually the girl who first drew the line and said enough is enough to her family. Mainly out of shame to the foreign husband.

Unless of course somebody in the family is sick, in prison or is dying. I for sure know that there are times I really feel that my family (and some relatives) are abusing my generosity. There are times I feel like a bank. When that happens I really tell them that I do not have anything to give anymore. I get angry of course. Then later, I will tell myself, eh saan naman sila hihingi kung meron silang kailangan?

But then I am relieved sometimes that I do not have a husband to explain such stuff to. Not many will understand such kind of ties to one’s family. And it is not easy making a spouse understand, especially if he is of a different culture.

But you see, the guys (who eventually married the girls from around my barrio), did his homework and immersed himself in the Pinoy barrio culture. No one of them cried SCAM! the moment he shelled out his own money for just about anything or even up until the time that he gets a seed of doubt as to whether his generosity is being abused or not.

No one divulged a scam theory to the public and no one ever tried to sell his scam theory to any paper or publisher.

This just goes to say that we shouldn’t believe everything that we read in the internet or on paper, especially if it is written to assassinate somebody’s character, culture and country.

Unless really the world has changed. However, this barrio remains a sleepy village. Dinner before dark, light outs by 7 pm — despite satellite TV and all. ;-)